Have you ever felt something in you dying and you are powerless? It’s like a lioness creeping up to her prey, which today is an antelope. She takes her time and in her slow movements, her friends join her leaving no hope for the antelope. The antelope at first oblivious to the fact but loses hope as she looks around at her enemies. But than something happens.
After being in ministry for 5 years, God has taught me so much through HIS word, people and circumstances. In the beginning I needed to depend on God for the learning of a new language, finding friends, finding where I belong, little education when it comes to vulnerable and orphaned children, little comfort from what i am used to(scorpions, snakes, matatu, etc). As the years went by, I became more accustomed to the culture, people, the ministry with children, and life. I guess I could say I began to depend less on God n more on personal knowledge and experience. One could say, I knew what i was doing, considering the knowledge and experience. It partly may be true, but in ministry one constantly needs God and His Spirit.
Many circumstances began to deter and discourage me and I wondered what was happening to me. I felt lost and powerless. I had my Teaching Practice from May to July and God knew I needed it in more ways than one. It was a practical lesson for teaching and it was another lesson that I still had the calling to minister to children. I identified a few children, whom I saw their self esteem was low and God used me to be hope and love. Tears came to my eyes when I read how one sensitive girl who didn’t talk to other teachers but initiated talk to me. She wrote “I want to be a teacher like you.” or “You are my favorite teacher”. The other day, I met two of my students at a wedding and they were thrilled to see “Teacher Charmaine”.
It was a great experience teaching and depending on God. I feared being assessed by the professionals, but God gave me favor and success. The one Professor who assessed me marveled at how I knew all the students names and actually thought it was my school where I teach. I told him it was my interest and my love for children. His response was humbling “I could tell”. My professor for teaching practice told me more than once that he had a very good feedback from my assessments. A week ago, I received my results and I got an A!! I never had taught in the classroom before and here I succeeded with flying colors. Truly, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” Phil 4:13.
God showed me once again that yes, I am in the right place, but I wasn’t quite convinced.
I went home for an unexpected 6 wk visit to encourage my bro and when I was home, I had an encounter. One night, I felt like Jacob wrestling with the angel. I came out with a breakthrough. I now faced my fears and believed the truth that God has called me to be His hands and feet to orphaned n vulnerable children.
I was at peace. God was beginning something new in my life. He made an escape for the `antelope`
“It was dark and all the other passengers on the plane were oblivious to the fact that God was speaking to me, he gave me a word/vision”
God gave life to the dead bones, I witnessed that in my life. He breathed His breath on me and has given me a second chance.
“But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.“
“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. “
1 Corinthians 10:13